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Am I spoiling my baby?
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Messinger View Drop Down

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Topic: Am I spoiling my baby?
Posted: 22 Aug 2016 at 11:51am
I think I may be spoiling my baby and I always said I never would but I find myself picking her up every time she cries, giving her a pacifier at the first sign of tiredness and always giving in and rocking her to sleep. (Whenever I lay her down on her own she screams and screams until I pick her up and rock her gently to sleep).

I feel like I cannot leave her for 5 minutes, even in the baby gym, and when I do and she cries I come running and pick her up straight away until she calms down.

Am I spoling my baby? Surely other mothers can leave their infants with others?

Joanne
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marzipan View Drop Down

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Direct Link To This PostPosted: 23 Aug 2016 at 4:35am
In a nutshell....YES. You ARE spoling your baby Joanne.

Your baby can only communicate by crying so if you interpret every cry as a cry for help then you are not really helping your baby communicate at all.

Babies need to learn to be alone. Not all the time. but some of the time. Certainly 5 minutes lying in a baby gym is not a problem. But it is if your baby is only ever accustomed to being in your arms and looking at your face.

Might seem like tough love...but honestly, in my opinion you need some distance.
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Harris View Drop Down

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Direct Link To This PostPosted: 23 Aug 2016 at 6:05am
Hmmm............seems like you are setting yourself up for trouble later on Joanne.

When our son was born I think I picked him up every second he began to cry for the first 3 or 4 months or so.

My husband thought this was wrong and we would encourage a "clingy" child but that is not what happened at all. As a mother your gut instinct tells you to react to your baby. Mine did. And I did.

It is easy for others to have opinions and say you should do this and not do that but not so easy when it is your own child.

Personally I do not think it is ok to let a baby cry. They cry for a reason. Even if it is loneliness. Why should they have to experience that?

A baby should feel safe. How else can they develop trust? I wanted my son to know that no matter what, when and where that I am there for him and if anyone thinks different that is fine but you have a paternal instinct and you are following it so why doubt it?

Love Shelley xxx
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